This is dumb okay
I want to watch porn because I want to……y’know
And it’s hard for me to like………get off…….if I’m not watching porn or talking to someone ha ha ha HA but like
I don’t really WANT to watch porn at the same time because really I just want Trevor
I’m stupid :-)
It’s funny when you see something that had a really big effect on you at one point in time not very long ago at all but now it seems like it was forever ago
In a completely different universe
Things I understand which I never did before:
When people say “when you know it’s the right person you just know” and I was always like that makes no sense but literally I just….one day I just knew that I didn’t want to be with anyone but Trevor
I never even understood how you could ever feel confident enough about a relationship to even WANT to get married but I understand that now
It just all makes more sense now
Trevor is a big fan of like planning out and doing all kinds of really sweet things, like when he surprised me with tickets to go see the Delta Symphony Orchestra and when he made a puzzle to ask me to be his girlfriend and that card he made for me Wednesday
Apparently the first time he ever had sex with his first ~serious~ girlfriend he like had candles and music and all that stuff and made it all romantic
I say all of this to say………..if he ever proposes to me he’s probably going to make it so sweet and nice that I’ll just CRY A WHOLE LOT LIKE A BIG BABY
A strange dilemma that I never thought I would face
I am afraid that if I lose any weight Trevor won’t think I’m as sexy as he thinks I am now
I have gathered that he likes girls who could be classified as sort of chubby and that’s cool! That means there is literally no pressure on me from him to have a typical ~perfect body~ because he likes the way I am right now
He sort of implied that he was a little bit more attracted to me last year because I was a little bit bigger and I KNOW HE DIDN’T MEAN TO UPSET ME IN ANY WAY AT ALL and I don’t think he even knows that it sort of hurt but now I can’t help but feel like he won’t like me as much if I lose any more weight
I am going to just talk to him about it because it actually is sort of bothering me oops
Literally astounded at how long Trevor has actually liked me
I don’t understand it because I am not that special??? But he liked me before he even knew my name
I don’t get it but ahhh he’s so precious and sweet sigh
Lmao we’ve pretty much all but said “we’re going to get married someday”
I mean like we will talk what kind of house we will have and how many kids we each want (One or two only! We agree on that!) and other things
But he is the type who will not make anything official until he knows he is financially able to take care of things and I like that about him so I don’t really honestly care if it’s two or three years or more before anything actually officially decided
This is a dumb post disregard it please I am just happy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
